Always Be the Bigger Person
By: Dodie Sachs
First of all, right off the bat, I have to clear something up. Being the bigger person does not mean letting someone bully you or walk all over you. Being the bigger person means always doing the right thing, even if someone else is being childish. Being the bigger person means keeping your eyes on the true goal and not getting distracted by the other person’s pettiness and bad behavior.
A long time ago, I was angry by something my ex did. What he did is not important. I was angry, and my anger was ruining my time with my friend. My friend asked if my ex was acting the way he has always acted. When I said that he was, my friend said that my ex wasn’t the one that had a problem. I had the problem. I still expected my ex to change his behavior, even though this is the way he has always acted. I had to learn to change the way I reacted when my ex did something.
When you continue to allow your ex’s behavior to influence your behavior, they are controlling you. You will continue to let their behavior influence your day. You are no longer in a relationship with that person for a reason. Stop letting their behavior and reactions control your day.
Don’t let their behavior control yours. You can’t control how the other person acts, you can only control how you react to their behavior. Make the decision to act appropriately, regardless of how they act or react. This is what I mean when I say, “be the bigger person.”
The goal in a family law case is not beating your ex or soon to be ex. The goal in a family law case is to build the best future for you and your family. Keep your eyes on that prize. During your case, continue to “be the bigger person” and do what is right so the judge likes you best. Freely give your attorney all the evidence and documentation they need to best represent you, so they are prepared. Disclose everything to the court that you are required to do, regardless of whether your ex or soon to be ex has. Why? Because by being the bigger person and complying with the rules of the court or the laws of your State, the judge is more likely to believe your testimony and is more likely to do what you are asking for. Having the judge do what you are asking for is winning your case, this is your goal, not ‘beating’ your ex or stooping down to their level. Be the bigger person.